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The Life-Leadership Paragon

A Personal and Professional Leadership Model

 

The Life-Leadership Paragon model identifies three essential skills necessary to personal and professional leadership. These three skills synergistically surround the fundamental life-principle of being Complete Within Oneself. Furthermore, if one does not have these skills, he or she will simply not be effective in dealing with others. This model was developed by Doug Kelley and serves as the foundation of his Assertiveness workshops, writings, and work with Empowered Recovery, as well as the KTS Assertiveness Profile.

Self-Acceptance: The first step in correcting personal faults is to accept oneself unconditionally. Empirical evidence has shown that most often Passive people have low self-acceptance, and therefore, low self-esteem. Passive people need to work on boosting their own self-esteem, and learn to stand up for themselves knowing that they too are entitled to the same good things in life as anyone else—no more, no less.  

Self-Responsibility: This means to take personal responsibility for one’s past, present, and future. It means to own up to one’s mistakes and not shift the blame. However, it also means not taking responsibility for others’ mistakes when they should take responsibility themselves. One cannot be an Assertive Leader if he or she does not accept self-responsibility, or denies another the human right and obligation of doing so. An Assertive Leader will never do for others that which they could and should do for themselves.  

Respect for free will: Aggressive behavior is what happens when one lacks respect for another’s right of Free Will. Passive behavior results when one does not respect his or her own right of Free Will. Assertive people respect both their own right of Free Will as well as that of others. Aggressive people must remember that life is not all about them, and also the fact that everyone else is entitled to the same good things in life as they are—no more, no less. Those who respect Free Will also do not try to change or control others. Instead, they endeavor to have a positive impact on them.

 

SELF-Completeness: When Self-Acceptance, Self-Responsibility, and Respect for Free Will, are combined, a certain synergy is achieved. Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Assertive people have achieved this synergy in that they have grown to be Complete Within Themselves. They have a strong sense of self, a healthy self-concept, and healthy self-esteem. They know who they are and why they are who they are. They do not consider themselves as better than others, but by the same token, they do not consider themselves as worse than others. They are able to stand on their own two feet, which means they not only stick up for themselves as necessary, but also refuse to walk on others. People who are Self-Complete go out and happen to life; they don't let life happen to them.

 


WHAT THE SYMBOLS MEAN: 

The triquetra (meaning "triangle") is used to represent the necessary connectedness between the three skills, which connects them with a never ending line.

The pentacle (star) also uses a never-ending line and is used to represent Self-Completeness and the life-balance that comes from the three skills combined and honed.

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The straight vertical line represents the latent power over oneself to accomplish greatness.

The sun simply represents the synergy of Self-Completeness.

 

 

Permission is granted to reprint the article above provided that notice is given to Doug Kelley and the following tag is included at the end of the article: 

"© Copyright 2000-2006 Kelley Training Systems, Inc. Doug Kelley is a Professional Speaker, Trainer, Author, Consultant, and Coach who helps business professionals excel in managing workplace relationships by way of training and coaching in Assertive Communication Skills, Assertive Leadership Skills, Assertive Team Skills, and Assertive Customer Service. Doug is also the Founder of Empowered Recovery, a unique self-help program for the friends and family of alcoholics. Please visit his websites for more information: www.DougKelley.com, www.KelleySkillPlex.com, www.EmpoweredRecovery.com." 

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